Sweet Swine County - Businesses
KLUK TV located in the town of Split Hoof has long dominated the airways of Sweet Swine County. With nothing happening in their county they produce stories about their neighboring counties!
The Daily Boar a sometimes daily newspaper reports all the news that the residents of Sweet Swine County want to know! Distributed to all but one (Mrs. Swanson) of the 163 people who live in the county. (She once received a bad review in it for her Cream of Mushroom Jello Delight hot-dish recipe!)
Pokey Pig Delivery Service opened for business in spring of 1976 to fill the need for ANYTHING that needs to be delivered fast in the the greater Sweet Swine County area! Management shared with Sweet Swine Scoop "We have fallen a bit behind because of the bicentennial therefore no delivery have been made since 1977.
Sweet Swine County's Elmer Plow opened a business in the town of Horse Fly called “Plowing Through Life / Clinic”. Elmer who completed a three week course at Purdoo University called “So you think you can be a Life Coach” told Sweet Swine Scoop “I realized my safe style of living has not served me very well and that I needed to toughen up. Now life is good, I live on the edge and take no guff from anyone, there’s a new Plow in town!
Pig in a Poke Recording Studio was founded by Buster Jones (The Big Porker) Sweet Sine County's most successful band, The Lip-Synchers!
Clem's Feed Store is the talk of the county and it should be for it's the most successful retail store in Sweet Swine County! KLUK's TV talk show The Cocklebur Morning Show shared with their audience that Clem put a movie theater that seats nine in the back room of his feed store enabling citizens from throughout Sweet Swine County to see the latest movies by Ma & Pa Kettle.
The only bar in Sweet Swine County was opened by some pig in the town of Cow Pie Ridge spring of 2009. Hours posted on the door state they are only open after a winning game by the "Flat Land Prairie Dogs“ Flat Land High Schools sometimes-winning horseshoe team.
Established in 1984 "Escape Sweet Swine Bus Company" immediately became the most successful business in Sweet Swine county because of large number of citizens looking for a way out of Sweet Swine! Spring of 2019 the popular bus company not only adding an additional bus, but offering group discounts!
Swine Tails Publications the once popular publisher of county maps and plat books now is home for authors from throughout Sweet Swine County who only wish to shock their citizens with tell-all books!
If you want to learn about life inside the county of Sweet Swine you just need to pick up a issue of "Sweet Swine Scoop" at Clem's Feed Store! With stories (some say gossip) provided by this magazine you will learn about the seedy side of the life in a county no one ever heard of. Cousin John who won the prestigious magazine in a card game was quoted as saying "If you can't make it to Clem Feed Store that doesn't mean you shouldn't buy my magazine, read all the stories here, then send me a check!"
This popular watering hole located in the town of Horse Fly is temporarily closed until management is able to locate a flyswatter!
Hamhock Hollow's premier business, The Cluck 'n' Pluck, provides all 9 citizens from the village of High Horse jobs on their night shift. Cluck 'n' Pluck owner & High Horse town councilman John Robert Olson requests that all day-shift employees use County Bypass Road #13 to skirt around High Horse so that his night-shift employees who live there can get some decent day-time sleep.
The "It Will Be Gone Saving & Loan" pulled into the town of Hamhock spring of 2012 and immediately began opening savings accounts! Sweet Swine County's tabloid magazine Sweet Swine Scoop shared with its readers the bank had trouble finding a permanent location in Sweet Swine County! A spokesperson for the bank told Sweet Swine Scoop: "We love Sweet Swine County and believe what we plan to do will long be remembered!
Mrs. Swanson opened the very successful catering business, Mrs. Swanson’s Sweets &Eats in spring of 1976. She specializes in Swedish dishes, pies and candies, however recently she announced the addition three new hotdishes to the menu. In an interview with The Daily Boar, Mrs. Swanson said, "That hoity-toity Betty Thompson ("Cookin' It Up With Betty" TV host) will never be able to compete with my green-bean-kumquat-marshmellow hotdish, no matter what she thinks!"
Located in a chicken coop inside Cousin John's The Cluck 'n' Pluck (a chicken plucking business) Sweet Swine's only radio station plays ROCK music from artists as diverse as Barry Manilow, Debby Boone and the The Cowsills!